Easter and thoughts.

So I basically did a horrible job of capturing this Easter with my camera. Part of me is really okay with that considering I felt not the best due to nausea (not complaining... well maybe a little), so I spent most of the time really trying to just enjoy the moment and capturing it mentally. C had an absolute blast to say the least.

Mudgy (Josh's mom) got him a new little slide. Like a true boy, he threw pretty much anything he could get his fat, dimpled hands on down the slide. Occassionally, he would attempt to climb up it or go down head first. It was hit in his little book, and has continued to be.

 Saturday, we took C to his first egg hunt. I've gathered this about such events. 1. they are extremely fun to watch your kid learn how to find them. 2. they make you realize just how selfish people can be. "Let me run around this field and find all the eggs before any other kid so I can keep them all in my basket and have more than them". I got C off once his tiny little basket was full. Since he wanted to continue in the fun, I just dumped all his eggs out and let him re-find them again. As he gets older, I expect this will be a great oppurutnity to teach him about sharing and helping others.

I know it's just a fun event for kids, but Easter is a very special Holiday. It celebrates my savior dying for my sins (and the sins of everyone) even though He was innocent so that I might live with Him eternally. It celebrates Him defeating death declaring that He is the only true God. That the only way to heaven is through His son Jesus. I become so heart broken when I see instagrams of giant Easter egg baskets or kids hoarding candy and losing sight of why this Holiday even exists. I want to participate in all the fun events like egg hunts and such, but I also want to be very careful that these things don't become the most important in C's world as he grows older. We didn't do Easter baskets this year. I couldn't find a way to do them that helped point C to Jesus while still having some fun. Perhaps by next year, I'll figure something out:) BUT PLEASE don't misread me, if these are things you do with your family, by all means keep doing them. This is just my personal conviction. No judging here. Cross my heart. I grew up doing Easter baskets and egg hunts and I don't think my parents parented me wrong because of it. In fact, they hold some of my greatest memories. My little brothers waddling in on Easter morning to their baskets will forever be stamped in my memory:) How do you find the balance? Please share!

I don't think I stopped tearing up the entire service on Sunday morning. Mainly during the song time of worship. This past few weeks has been so draining with this pregnancy and family loss. Easter came at a perfect time for me. At the end of all of that, I was reminded that Jesus is and will always be enough. Our service was soo good. We had over a 100 people and so many new visitors. Just an all around encouraging day. 

 I bought C's shirt at Target and already had the bow tie (a gift) and suspenders (from H&M). He was so dang cute I almost couldn't handle it.

The rest of the day was spent with my family over a big meal and fried chickens. I 100% meant to film the entire thing to make an Easter video like last years, but like I said before, I just got to wrapped up in enjoying the moment. Maybe next year:)

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. I hope even more that if you don't know Jesus and why we celebrate Easter, that you will come to know Him and the freedom found in the Cross.


the first bumpdate : week 13.5

Pregnancy Highlights

How far along:13.5 weeks

Total Weight Gain: 5-7lbs I think. It's different day to day I can tell. I'm not weighing myself very consistently. I can tell I have more of a bump this time around then I did with C. I've heard your belly gets bigger faster with each pregnancy. When I wake up in the mornings it's barely noticeable, but by bedtime it's huge.

Maternity Clothes: not in the least bit, but I am excited to start wearing some soon, especially since a sweet friend gave me all of her maternity clothes to borrow!
Best Moment this Week: Since my "weeks' start new each wednesday just like they did with C. Since last Wednesday, I'd say Easter was by far the best moment.
Gender: Sometimes I think it will be a girl, but this pregnancy feels just like it did with C so far.
Movement: not a thing. Ready to feel this little nugget!
Food Cravings: nothing really. I do drink an insane amount of OJ a day.
Food aversions: red meat, sometimes carbs. I really just want fruit non stop.
What I Miss: not much right now. I sleep okay, no heartburn, allergies are worse but overall I can't complain one bit. The nausea has pretty much passed with exception to random fits but I'm glad it's almost gone!
Sleep: napping like it's my job!
What I am looking forward to: finding out gender obviously and deciding on names. We have NO clue what names we like this go around for a boy. For a girl we know:)

Belly Button:in in in

The first 12 weeks were rough. Most days I didn't make it off the couch. I felt the nausea was worse this time around, but Josh assures me it was not. I do think I got over it faster than I did with C. Thankful for that! This pregnancy 100% feels like it is going so much slower. I think that's probably because last time I was working and so preoccupied with work that I didn't have time to think about how slow each week was.


we're growing...

^^sweet nicole, who captured yesterday's video, sent me these stills to edit from our film. I love how they turned out:) Thank you sweet friend.

In case you missed yesterday's blog post with a  film announcement... yep, we're expecting again!!!! well, we've been expecting for quite sometime with our adoption, but we are expecting biologically as well:) I'm currently 13 weeks today and officially in the second trimester. Praise the Lord. The first trimester was really rough for me hence why I haven't been blogging very much.

We found out I was pregnant on February 3rd. I was right at 4 or 5 weeks. We were fearful it was yet another miscarriage due to some similar signs I had with my miscarriage in November. I begged the Lord not to let that happen again, and He graciously answered. We immediately told family so they could pray. For the first several weeks, I had multiple ultrasounds and my blood was taken too many times. The ultrasounds showed nothing, but my levels kept rising. Finally at 8 weeks, we heard a faint heart beat and saw the tiniest, sweetest little body. We decided then to keep it as under wraps as possible, until I was clear of the first trimester, but of course a few close friends figured it out and asked us pretty quickly in March.  We had our most recent appointment on Monday & the heart beat was going strong.

We could not be more excited about this pregnancy. It was quite a bit of shock to us in the beginning, but clearly the Lord knew we needed this child in our family in His perfect timing. We will stay active with our adoption agency until I hit 20 weeks (meaning a birth mom could choose us and view our profile before then... also meaning we could go from 1 to 3 children in one year.. CRAZY!). If we are not chosen by the time I hit 20 weeks, then our account will be frozen and will be reactivated when this child I'm pregnant with hits 6 months. The money donated by all of you gracious, lovely people during our fundraiser has either already been given to our agency and those funds will also be frozen until we are reactivated, or it was put into a separate savings account that we are NOT touching until needed for our adoption. We feel very strongly that the money donated will remain there until time to use for adoption. We just wanted all of those who donated to know that the money will still, in fact, be used for our adoption ONLY.  promise. promise. promise.

With all that being said, we are thankful the Lord is adding to our family as He sees fit. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad that our adoption may have to be put on hold. That child has been growing in our hearts for the past year now and the idea of having to wait even longer until we meet him kills me sometimes. I'm asking the Lord if it's His will to let us be chosen before our account is frozen. I know that means things would be crazy around here with three children under the age of 2, but I accept that craziness because it would be His will. I'd love for you to pray that with us. Should 20 weeks come and we haven't been chosen, you better believe we will be sooooo ready come next April for us to be reactivated!

It seems like October 22nd is light years away. C was born October 3rd, so he will just have turned two when this little nugget arrives. Gosh, we are having another baby. It still seems new. We are praising the Lord for this sweet blessing. We obviously couldn't be more excited!!! If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know that to us children are the greatest blessing.

Thank you for all the sweet comments yesterday. We are so thankful for the love our families and friends and you have shown us!


I do want to mention that if you are a lady reading today who is struggling to become pregnant or waiting on adoption, I am praying for you today. I have met many women through blogging and social media because of my miscarriage and adoption journey who have unfortunately struggled with infertility or are waiting the long wait with adoption. My heart goes out to you today. I'm asking the Lord to open your womb, to hear your cries and prayers, to bring your child home to you, to let you see that positive line, to hear that little heart beat, to receive the call you've been chosen, and most importantly to grant you peace and rest until that time comes. We serve a mighty, gracious God.


Our Family Video Film, News, & an INCREDIBLE giveaway

Several weeks back, my sweet friend, Nicole, texted me asking if I would be up for a family video session. Without a second of hesitation, I quickly responded YESSSS! You see, Nicole and her beau, Tyler, started a cinematography business this year. The Lord laid the desire on their hearts and knowing there would be big risks for these newlyweds, they obeyed His call. In just a few short months, 314 Productions is already booming with success, and it's no doubt a blessing from the Lord for their obedience to His call. They want their business to be first about glorifying the Lord and second about blessing others. And they do just that.

We spent a couple hours together this past Saturday. C was in a particularly fantastic mood & his hair was about the same curly as always:). She captured us being us. Doing what we normally do. Playing, eating, exploring, sliding, and reading always. I will treasure this film always.

Oh, and you're going to want to watch it all the way through because there may or may not be something exciting at the end:)

Kubler | family from 314 Productions on Vimeo.

Exciting news right?!?!?! Check back here tomorrow for more details & what this means for our family:) Now some EXCITING NEWS FOR YOU!!! Nicole is G R A C I O U S L Y giving away a family session to one deserving family. That's right, she. is. giving. away. a. family. video. session!!!! I told you Nicole & Tyler just want to bless others. To win, you must live within a 30 mile radius of Memphis, TN and the session must be held on a weekday. That's it! Any size family can enter. Simply comment on this blog post explaining why your family or a family you know deserves this amazing gift (link back to social media or a blog so we can meet you)! You can enter by commenting here on my blog, on Nicole's blog, or on either of our Instagrams. One entry per family please. Winner will be chosen Friday.

I can't believe they are giving away such an incredible gift! Nicole & Tyler, we love you dearly. You blessed us in a way I'll never be able to repay. Thank you for shining Jesus & blessing us immensely. We love you!